社会学家给毕业生们的忠告：不要担心梦想
Happy Graduation, Seniors! Congratulations! What’s next? Below is some sociologically-inspired, out-of-the-box advice on work, love, family, friendship, and the meaning of life. For new grads from the two of us!
恭喜毕业，毕业生们！祝贺你们！接下来呢？下面就是我们二人给刚毕业的你们的建议，这些建议有关工作、爱情、家庭、友谊以及生活意义，既不落俗套，又具有社会学启发性！
1. Don’t Worry About Making Your Dreams Come True
不要担心实现梦想
College graduates are often told: “follow your passion,” do “what you love,” what you were “meant to do,” or “make your dreams come true.” Two-thirds think they’re going find a job that allows them to change the world, half within five years. Yikes.
毕业生们总被告诫要“跟随激情”、“做自己热爱的事情”、“做自己想做的事情”，或者“让梦想成为现实”。2/3的毕业生以为，五年之内，自己要干一份能够改变世界的工作。乖乖！
This sets young people up to fail. The truth is that the vast majority of us will not be employed in a job that is both our lifelong passion and a world-changer; that’s just not the way our global economy is. So it’s ok to set your sights just a tad below occupational ecstasy. Just find a job that you like. Use that job to help you have a full life with lots of good things and pleasure and helping others and stuff. A great life is pretty good, even if it’s not perfect.
这种年轻人注定要失败。事实上，大部分人做的工作既无关乎人生激情，也不可能改变整个世界；因为全球经济不是这么玩的。所以，你可以将职业目标稍微调低一些。只要找份自己喜欢的工作就行了。然后好好利用这份工作，让自己的生活充满美好的事情、开心快乐并助人为乐。就算不完美，充实的人生也会相当美满。
2. Make Friends
交朋友
Americans put a lot of emphasis on finding Mr. or Ms. Right and getting married. We think this will bring us happiness. In fact, however, both psychological well-being and health are more strongly related to friendship. If you have good friends, you’ll be less likely to get the common cold, less likely to die from cancer, recover better from the loss of a spouse, and keep your mental acuity as you age.
美国人总是过于强调找个“白马王子”或“真命女神”来结婚。我们以为这样就能幸福。其实，心理健康更大程度上取决于友谊。如果有很好的朋友，你就不太容易感冒或死于癌症，而且更容易从丧偶中恢复过来，并且随着年纪增长依旧能保持敏锐。
You’ll also feel more capable of facing life’s challenges, be less likely to feed depressed, and be happier in old age. Having happy friends increases your chance of being happy as much as an extra $145,500 a year does. So, make friends!
你也会在面对生活挑战时更坚强，不太会容易感到沮丧，晚年也会更快乐。拥有乐天派朋友能够让你感染快乐，这可是一年多挣145,500美元才能达到的效果！所以，请多交朋友吧！
3. Don’t Worry about Being Single
不要为单身发愁
Single people, especially women, are stigmatized in our society: we’re all familiar with the image of a sad, lonely woman eating ice cream with her cats in her pajamas on Saturday night. But about 45% of U.S. adults aren’t married and around 1 in 7 lives alone.
单身人士，尤其是剩女，在这个社会是受到歧视的：我们应该都很熟悉那个孤独悲伤的剩女，在周六晚上穿着睡衣，和猫咪分享一个冰激凌的样子吧。但是，美国有45%的成年人未婚，而且将近1/7的人独居。
This might be you. Research shows that young people’s expectations about their marital status (e.g., the desire to be married by 30 and have kids by 32) have little or no relationship to what actually happens to people. So, go with the flow.
你可能就是其中一员。研究表明，人们对自己婚姻状态的期望（即30岁结婚32岁生小孩），很少跟自身经历扯上关系。所以，顺其自然吧。
And, if you’re single, you’re in good company. Single people spend more time with friends, volunteer more, and are more involved in their communities than married people. Never-married and divorced women are happier, on average, than married women. So, don’t buy into the myth of the miserable singleton.
何况，如果你还单身，或许身边不缺朋友。较之于已婚人士而言，单身人士花更多时间跟朋友呆在一起，经常参加志愿活动，也更热衷于社区事务。基本上，从未结婚或离婚女人要比已婚女人更快乐。所以，不要去相信那种“单身可悲可怜”的鬼话！
Happy Graduation, Seniors! Congratulations! What’s next? Below is some sociologically-inspired, out-of-the-box advice on work, love, family, friendship, and the meaning of life. For new grads from the two of us!
恭喜毕业，毕业生们！祝贺你们！接下来呢？下面就是我们二人给刚毕业的你们的建议，这些建议有关工作、爱情、家庭、友谊以及生活意义，既不落俗套，又具有社会学启发性！
1. Don’t Worry About Making Your Dreams Come True
不要担心实现梦想
College graduates are often told: “follow your passion,” do “what you love,” what you were “meant to do,” or “make your dreams come true.” Two-thirds think they’re going find a job that allows them to change the world, half within five years. Yikes.
毕业生们总被告诫要“跟随激情”、“做自己热爱的事情”、“做自己想做的事情”，或者“让梦想成为现实”。2/3的毕业生以为，五年之内，自己要干一份能够改变世界的工作。乖乖！
This sets young people up to fail. The truth is that the vast majority of us will not be employed in a job that is both our lifelong passion and a world-changer; that’s just not the way our global economy is. So it’s ok to set your sights just a tad below occupational ecstasy. Just find a job that you like. Use that job to help you have a full life with lots of good things and pleasure and helping others and stuff. A great life is pretty good, even if it’s not perfect.
这种年轻人注定要失败。事实上，大部分人做的工作既无关乎人生激情，也不可能改变整个世界；因为全球经济不是这么玩的。所以，你可以将职业目标稍微调低一些。只要找份自己喜欢的工作就行了。然后好好利用这份工作，让自己的生活充满美好的事情、开心快乐并助人为乐。就算不完美，充实的人生也会相当美满。
2. Make Friends
交朋友
Americans put a lot of emphasis on finding Mr. or Ms. Right and getting married. We think this will bring us happiness. In fact, however, both psychological well-being and health are more strongly related to friendship. If you have good friends, you’ll be less likely to get the common cold, less likely to die from cancer, recover better from the loss of a spouse, and keep your mental acuity as you age.
美国人总是过于强调找个“白马王子”或“真命女神”来结婚。我们以为这样就能幸福。其实，心理健康更大程度上取决于友谊。如果有很好的朋友，你就不太容易感冒或死于癌症，而且更容易从丧偶中恢复过来，并且随着年纪增长依旧能保持敏锐。
You’ll also feel more capable of facing life’s challenges, be less likely to feed depressed, and be happier in old age. Having happy friends increases your chance of being happy as much as an extra $145,500 a year does. So, make friends!
你也会在面对生活挑战时更坚强，不太会容易感到沮丧，晚年也会更快乐。拥有乐天派朋友能够让你感染快乐，这可是一年多挣145,500美元才能达到的效果！所以，请多交朋友吧！
3. Don’t Worry about Being Single
不要为单身发愁
Single people, especially women, are stigmatized in our society: we’re all familiar with the image of a sad, lonely woman eating ice cream with her cats in her pajamas on Saturday night. But about 45% of U.S. adults aren’t married and around 1 in 7 lives alone.
单身人士，尤其是剩女，在这个社会是受到歧视的：我们应该都很熟悉那个孤独悲伤的剩女，在周六晚上穿着睡衣，和猫咪分享一个冰激凌的样子吧。但是，美国有45%的成年人未婚，而且将近1/7的人独居。
This might be you. Research shows that young people’s expectations about their marital status (e.g., the desire to be married by 30 and have kids by 32) have little or no relationship to what actually happens to people. So, go with the flow.
你可能就是其中一员。研究表明，人们对自己婚姻状态的期望（即30岁结婚32岁生小孩），很少跟自身经历扯上关系。所以，顺其自然吧。
And, if you’re single, you’re in good company. Single people spend more time with friends, volunteer more, and are more involved in their communities than married people. Never-married and divorced women are happier, on average, than married women. So, don’t buy into the myth of the miserable singleton.
何况，如果你还单身，或许身边不缺朋友。较之于已婚人士而言，单身人士花更多时间跟朋友呆在一起，经常参加志愿活动，也更热衷于社区事务。基本上，从未结婚或离婚女人要比已婚女人更快乐。所以，不要去相信那种“单身可悲可怜”的鬼话！
恭喜毕业，毕业生们！祝贺你们！接下来呢？下面就是我们二人给刚毕业的你们的建议，这些建议有关工作、爱情、家庭、友谊以及生活意义，既不落俗套，又具有社会学启发性！
1. Don’t Worry About Making Your Dreams Come True
不要担心实现梦想
College graduates are often told: “follow your passion,” do “what you love,” what you were “meant to do,” or “make your dreams come true.” Two-thirds think they’re going find a job that allows them to change the world, half within five years. Yikes.
毕业生们总被告诫要“跟随激情”、“做自己热爱的事情”、“做自己想做的事情”，或者“让梦想成为现实”。2/3的毕业生以为，五年之内，自己要干一份能够改变世界的工作。乖乖！
This sets young people up to fail. The truth is that the vast majority of us will not be employed in a job that is both our lifelong passion and a world-changer; that’s just not the way our global economy is. So it’s ok to set your sights just a tad below occupational ecstasy. Just find a job that you like. Use that job to help you have a full life with lots of good things and pleasure and helping others and stuff. A great life is pretty good, even if it’s not perfect.
这种年轻人注定要失败。事实上，大部分人做的工作既无关乎人生激情，也不可能改变整个世界；因为全球经济不是这么玩的。所以，你可以将职业目标稍微调低一些。只要找份自己喜欢的工作就行了。然后好好利用这份工作，让自己的生活充满美好的事情、开心快乐并助人为乐。就算不完美，充实的人生也会相当美满。
2. Make Friends
交朋友
Americans put a lot of emphasis on finding Mr. or Ms. Right and getting married. We think this will bring us happiness. In fact, however, both psychological well-being and health are more strongly related to friendship. If you have good friends, you’ll be less likely to get the common cold, less likely to die from cancer, recover better from the loss of a spouse, and keep your mental acuity as you age.
美国人总是过于强调找个“白马王子”或“真命女神”来结婚。我们以为这样就能幸福。其实，心理健康更大程度上取决于友谊。如果有很好的朋友，你就不太容易感冒或死于癌症，而且更容易从丧偶中恢复过来，并且随着年纪增长依旧能保持敏锐。
You’ll also feel more capable of facing life’s challenges, be less likely to feed depressed, and be happier in old age. Having happy friends increases your chance of being happy as much as an extra $145,500 a year does. So, make friends!
你也会在面对生活挑战时更坚强，不太会容易感到沮丧，晚年也会更快乐。拥有乐天派朋友能够让你感染快乐，这可是一年多挣145,500美元才能达到的效果！所以，请多交朋友吧！
3. Don’t Worry about Being Single
不要为单身发愁
Single people, especially women, are stigmatized in our society: we’re all familiar with the image of a sad, lonely woman eating ice cream with her cats in her pajamas on Saturday night. But about 45% of U.S. adults aren’t married and around 1 in 7 lives alone.
单身人士，尤其是剩女，在这个社会是受到歧视的：我们应该都很熟悉那个孤独悲伤的剩女，在周六晚上穿着睡衣，和猫咪分享一个冰激凌的样子吧。但是，美国有45%的成年人未婚，而且将近1/7的人独居。
This might be you. Research shows that young people’s expectations about their marital status (e.g., the desire to be married by 30 and have kids by 32) have little or no relationship to what actually happens to people. So, go with the flow.
你可能就是其中一员。研究表明，人们对自己婚姻状态的期望（即30岁结婚32岁生小孩），很少跟自身经历扯上关系。所以，顺其自然吧。
And, if you’re single, you’re in good company. Single people spend more time with friends, volunteer more, and are more involved in their communities than married people. Never-married and divorced women are happier, on average, than married women. So, don’t buy into the myth of the miserable singleton.
何况，如果你还单身，或许身边不缺朋友。较之于已婚人士而言，单身人士花更多时间跟朋友呆在一起，经常参加志愿活动，也更热衷于社区事务。基本上，从未结婚或离婚女人要比已婚女人更快乐。所以，不要去相信那种“单身可悲可怜”的鬼话！
Happy Graduation, Seniors! Congratulations! What’s next? Below is some sociologically-inspired, out-of-the-box advice on work, love, family, friendship, and the meaning of life. For new grads from the two of us!
恭喜毕业，毕业生们！祝贺你们！接下来呢？下面就是我们二人给刚毕业的你们的建议，这些建议有关工作、爱情、家庭、友谊以及生活意义，既不落俗套，又具有社会学启发性！
1. Don’t Worry About Making Your Dreams Come True
不要担心实现梦想
College graduates are often told: “follow your passion,” do “what you love,” what you were “meant to do,” or “make your dreams come true.” Two-thirds think they’re going find a job that allows them to change the world, half within five years. Yikes.
毕业生们总被告诫要“跟随激情”、“做自己热爱的事情”、“做自己想做的事情”，或者“让梦想成为现实”。2/3的毕业生以为，五年之内，自己要干一份能够改变世界的工作。乖乖！
This sets young people up to fail. The truth is that the vast majority of us will not be employed in a job that is both our lifelong passion and a world-changer; that’s just not the way our global economy is. So it’s ok to set your sights just a tad below occupational ecstasy. Just find a job that you like. Use that job to help you have a full life with lots of good things and pleasure and helping others and stuff. A great life is pretty good, even if it’s not perfect.
这种年轻人注定要失败。事实上，大部分人做的工作既无关乎人生激情，也不可能改变整个世界；因为全球经济不是这么玩的。所以，你可以将职业目标稍微调低一些。只要找份自己喜欢的工作就行了。然后好好利用这份工作，让自己的生活充满美好的事情、开心快乐并助人为乐。就算不完美，充实的人生也会相当美满。
2. Make Friends
交朋友
Americans put a lot of emphasis on finding Mr. or Ms. Right and getting married. We think this will bring us happiness. In fact, however, both psychological well-being and health are more strongly related to friendship. If you have good friends, you’ll be less likely to get the common cold, less likely to die from cancer, recover better from the loss of a spouse, and keep your mental acuity as you age.
美国人总是过于强调找个“白马王子”或“真命女神”来结婚。我们以为这样就能幸福。其实，心理健康更大程度上取决于友谊。如果有很好的朋友，你就不太容易感冒或死于癌症，而且更容易从丧偶中恢复过来，并且随着年纪增长依旧能保持敏锐。
You’ll also feel more capable of facing life’s challenges, be less likely to feed depressed, and be happier in old age. Having happy friends increases your chance of being happy as much as an extra $145,500 a year does. So, make friends!
你也会在面对生活挑战时更坚强，不太会容易感到沮丧，晚年也会更快乐。拥有乐天派朋友能够让你感染快乐，这可是一年多挣145,500美元才能达到的效果！所以，请多交朋友吧！
3. Don’t Worry about Being Single
不要为单身发愁
Single people, especially women, are stigmatized in our society: we’re all familiar with the image of a sad, lonely woman eating ice cream with her cats in her pajamas on Saturday night. But about 45% of U.S. adults aren’t married and around 1 in 7 lives alone.
单身人士，尤其是剩女，在这个社会是受到歧视的：我们应该都很熟悉那个孤独悲伤的剩女，在周六晚上穿着睡衣，和猫咪分享一个冰激凌的样子吧。但是，美国有45%的成年人未婚，而且将近1/7的人独居。
This might be you. Research shows that young people’s expectations about their marital status (e.g., the desire to be married by 30 and have kids by 32) have little or no relationship to what actually happens to people. So, go with the flow.
你可能就是其中一员。研究表明，人们对自己婚姻状态的期望（即30岁结婚32岁生小孩），很少跟自身经历扯上关系。所以，顺其自然吧。
And, if you’re single, you’re in good company. Single people spend more time with friends, volunteer more, and are more involved in their communities than married people. Never-married and divorced women are happier, on average, than married women. So, don’t buy into the myth of the miserable singleton.
何况，如果你还单身，或许身边不缺朋友。较之于已婚人士而言，单身人士花更多时间跟朋友呆在一起，经常参加志愿活动，也更热衷于社区事务。基本上，从未结婚或离婚女人要比已婚女人更快乐。所以，不要去相信那种“单身可悲可怜”的鬼话！
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