关于爱情年轻的我们要知道的9件事
Who doesn’t love love? It’s one of the best, purest emotions out there. This means, of course, that it has the most drama connected to it. Everyone worries about collecting a lot of relationship baggage while they’re young, but the truth is it’s going to happen regardless of how you try to avoid it.
有谁不喜欢爱情呢？这是一种最美好最纯洁的感情。当然，这也意味着它是最具有戏剧化的。每个人年轻的时候都担心自己会有很多感情上的麻烦，而事实是不管你多想努力避免，这种情况总会发生。
Instead of trying to prevent lots of missteps, read these tips and find out what you should know about love when you’re still young. Find comfort in knowing that everyone goes through these things, and we all make it out on the other side.
与其试着避免犯错，不如看看这些关于爱情年轻的你应该知道的事。每个人都会有这样的经历，而我们最终会好起来，这样想就舒服多了。
1. You’ll make mistakes
你会犯错
It’s ok to make mistakes when you’re young – especially in love! Love isn’t a rational feeling, it’s something that makes you feel the highest of happiness during the good times, and the lowest of sadness during the bad times.
年轻的时候犯错是可以接受的，尤其是在爱情里。爱情不是理智的，好的时候它会让你体会最大的快乐，糟糕的时候则会让你感受最大的伤痛。
You’re going to date people you shouldn’t; you’re going to have arguments that aren’t worth having; and you’re going to say the wrong things during these fights. It’s ok because you’re going to learn from each of these mistakes, and that will make your true love that much sweeter.
你会爱上不该爱的人，你会为了不值得的事情争吵，在争吵时你会出口伤人。这都是可以接受的，因为你会从这些错误里学习，让你真正的爱情更加甜蜜。
2. You can be selfish
你可以自私
It’s normal to be selfish when you’re young, because you need to figure out who you are and what you want from life. It’s acceptable to break up with someone over something that might seem a bit petty just because they don’t seem right for you – because they probably aren’t!
年轻的时候自私是正常的，因为你需要发现你是谁，你想要从生活中得到什么。和某些人因为某些琐事分手只是因为他们似乎不适合你，这也是可以接受的，因为他们也许真的不适合你。
When you’re in your teens and twenties, you need to focus on yourself, because you need to discover who you are and what your career will be. You need to work on things like this, including loving yourself, before you try to make a partnership work for the long haul.
年轻的时候，你需要专注于自身，因为你需要探寻你是谁，你的职业生涯会怎样发展。你需要为这些事情而忙碌，包括在发展一段长期的关系之前先爱自己。
3. You can be single
你可以单身
And you should be! Too many young people think they always need to be in a relationship. If you have this mindset, then you’re more likely to date people who are bad for you just so you’ll be with someone. It’s ok to be single! No one is watching you and keeping track of how long you’re single versus how long you’re in a relationship.
而且你应该单身！很多年轻人认为他们需要恋爱，如果你有这种心态，你很有可能为了找个伴而和不合适的人约会。单身没什么不可以！没有人会盯着你，记录你单身的时间和恋爱的时间哪个更长。
It’s important to be single so you can focus on your own life; when you do find that special someone, your relationship will be that much better because it will be special. You’ll be a well-rounded person, and you won’t have a history of hopping from relationship to relationship with no substance.
单身也是重要的，这样你就可以专注于自己的生活。当你真的找到那个特别的人时，你们的关系会更好，因为它会很特别。你会非常圆满，而且你不会留下一段毫无意义不断更换恋爱对象的历史。
4. You’ll fall in love with the wrong person
你会爱上错的人
This is the hardest lesson to learn, because people rarely seem wrong for you at the start of a relationship. When you feel the sparks and the butterflies, you can’t imagine that someone could be bad for you. But they can be, and they will be, and you need to learn how to identify this in others
这是最难学会的一课，因为在恋爱的开始，人们看起来都没什么问题。当你感觉到火花时，你无法想象这个人可能并不适合你。但他们真的可能是错的人，而你需要学会如何辨别。
They can be kind and still be wrong — for you. You should be with someone who brings out the best in you, who is sweet and encouraging and compatible with you, not who you think you should be with to make anyone else happy.
他们可以是好人，但对于你来说，依然是错的人。你应该和一个能让你自己最好一面显露出来的人在一起，他/她应该非常贴心，善于鼓励，和你非常相配。不要为了取悦别人而勉强和谁在一起。
5. It’s ok to fall in love
陷入爱情里是正常的
So you’ve met the wrong person, and maybe you kind of even know they’re wrong for you, but you can’t help it — you’re falling in love. That’s ok! It’s good to let yourself feel things for others. If you’re too hesitant to fall in love, then you might never let loose enough to find your special someone. Love is a beautiful feeling, and it’s never wrong to feel it for someone as long as you believe it’s true.
你遇到了一个错的人，也许你甚至知道他/她不适合你，但你就是陷入爱中无法自拔。这也是正常的。让你自己去感知他人是好的，如果你过分犹豫不敢恋爱，你也许永远不会释放自己，找到那个对的人。爱情是一种美好的感觉，只要你相信这是真的，和某人陷入爱中就永远不会错。
6. Live and love in the moment
活在当下，爱在此刻
Never chastise yourself for falling in love. When you feel something in the moment, you need to let yourself feel that emotion completely. Fall in love, daydream about your future, and, as hard as it may be to do, let yourself get hurt. You’ll learn from all of these moments and all of these emotions.
永远不要因为恋爱而惩罚自己。此刻当你有所感觉，你需要让自己完全投入去感受这种情感。陷入爱河，幻想未来，也许还会让自己受伤。你会从所有这些时刻和情感中学会很多。
It seems like you’d look back and kick yourself for having a crush on someone who was so obviously wrong for you, but you’ll see the past through rose-colored glasses and be glad that you experienced as much as you did.
也许当你回头看，会责备自己怎么会爱上一个明显是错的人，但这段过去依然带着浪漫的玫瑰色彩，你会很欣慰自己曾经尽力去体验。
7. You don’t need to have a timeline
你没有必要制定时间表
When you’re young, you get so used to people asking what you’re majoring in or what you want to be when you grow up that you start planning out your whole life. It seems more stable to think “I should be married by the time I’m 25 so I can have kids before I’m 30,” than to fly by the seat of your pants.
年轻的时候，你很习惯别人询问你的专业，或者你长大后想做什么。然后你开始规划你的人生。“我应该25岁时结婚这样我在30岁之前就可以生孩子了”之类的想法似乎比随遇而安更稳定。
But the truth is, those timelines rarely work out. If they do, it might just because you feel pressured to stick to them. What if you’re dating the wrong person when you’re 25, but still feel like you have to get married to meet your goal? Scrap any timeline you have in mind. Life is going to throw you curveballs whether you have plans or not, so see who you meet, who you fall in love with, and go with the flow.
而事实是，这些时间表基本没用。如果有用，也许只是因为你感觉到了压力而刻意遵循。如果你在25岁时爱上了一个错的人，却依然觉得为了实现目标你必须结 婚，会怎样？丢掉你脑中的所有时间表。不论你有没有计划，生活都会照常进行。所以等着瞧，看你会遇见谁，爱上谁，顺其自然。
8. Don’t put others before yourself
不要总优先满足他人的需要
When you’re older and in a committed relationship or marriage, there will be times when you need to put your own wants on the back burner and let your spouse reach some of their personal goals. It’s ok to put others before yourself if you’re being supportive and not letting your own needs and wants fall to the wayside, but it shouldn’t become a habit.
当你成长了、结婚了，有时候你需要把自己的需求放在一边，让你的另一半实现他/她的目标。如果你有足够的支持，也不会让自己的需求丢在一旁，优先考虑他人是可以的，但这不应该成为一种习惯。
If you’re in a relationship where your partner constantly needs to be the center of attention and won’t let you have interests of your own or time to yourself, you need to get out of that. Realize that it’s not only acceptable to put yourself first, but it’s necessary when you’re young and still have so much growing and learning to do.
如果在你的恋爱关系中，你的另一半总是想成为关注的焦点，而不能让你拥有自己的兴趣或者时间，你就应该结束这段关系。要明白，优先为自己考虑不仅可以接受，而且在年轻的时候是必须的，因为你还有很多成长空间，还可以学会很多。
9. Love yourself
爱你自己
You’ll fall in love with good people and you’ll fall in love with bad people, but above all, you need to love yourself. If you love who you are, then you’ll be more open to loving others. Love is always a great thing to share, but loving yourself also means you won’t have to find that love in others. You can love someone without needing something from them to feel validated. Loving yourself is the most powerful love you can experience.
你会爱上好人，也会爱上坏人，但最重要的是你要爱自己。如果你爱自己，你就会更加包容地去爱别人。爱永远是值得分享的好东西，但爱自己也意味着你不需要从别人那里获取爱。你可以爱上某个人而不需要从他/她那里得到什么来确保爱的感受。爱自己是你所能经历的最强大的爱。
有谁不喜欢爱情呢？这是一种最美好最纯洁的感情。当然，这也意味着它是最具有戏剧化的。每个人年轻的时候都担心自己会有很多感情上的麻烦，而事实是不管你多想努力避免，这种情况总会发生。
Instead of trying to prevent lots of missteps, read these tips and find out what you should know about love when you’re still young. Find comfort in knowing that everyone goes through these things, and we all make it out on the other side.
与其试着避免犯错，不如看看这些关于爱情年轻的你应该知道的事。每个人都会有这样的经历，而我们最终会好起来，这样想就舒服多了。
1. You’ll make mistakes
你会犯错
It’s ok to make mistakes when you’re young – especially in love! Love isn’t a rational feeling, it’s something that makes you feel the highest of happiness during the good times, and the lowest of sadness during the bad times.
年轻的时候犯错是可以接受的，尤其是在爱情里。爱情不是理智的，好的时候它会让你体会最大的快乐，糟糕的时候则会让你感受最大的伤痛。
You’re going to date people you shouldn’t; you’re going to have arguments that aren’t worth having; and you’re going to say the wrong things during these fights. It’s ok because you’re going to learn from each of these mistakes, and that will make your true love that much sweeter.
你会爱上不该爱的人，你会为了不值得的事情争吵，在争吵时你会出口伤人。这都是可以接受的，因为你会从这些错误里学习，让你真正的爱情更加甜蜜。
2. You can be selfish
你可以自私
It’s normal to be selfish when you’re young, because you need to figure out who you are and what you want from life. It’s acceptable to break up with someone over something that might seem a bit petty just because they don’t seem right for you – because they probably aren’t!
年轻的时候自私是正常的，因为你需要发现你是谁，你想要从生活中得到什么。和某些人因为某些琐事分手只是因为他们似乎不适合你，这也是可以接受的，因为他们也许真的不适合你。
When you’re in your teens and twenties, you need to focus on yourself, because you need to discover who you are and what your career will be. You need to work on things like this, including loving yourself, before you try to make a partnership work for the long haul.
年轻的时候，你需要专注于自身，因为你需要探寻你是谁，你的职业生涯会怎样发展。你需要为这些事情而忙碌，包括在发展一段长期的关系之前先爱自己。
3. You can be single
你可以单身
And you should be! Too many young people think they always need to be in a relationship. If you have this mindset, then you’re more likely to date people who are bad for you just so you’ll be with someone. It’s ok to be single! No one is watching you and keeping track of how long you’re single versus how long you’re in a relationship.
而且你应该单身！很多年轻人认为他们需要恋爱，如果你有这种心态，你很有可能为了找个伴而和不合适的人约会。单身没什么不可以！没有人会盯着你，记录你单身的时间和恋爱的时间哪个更长。
It’s important to be single so you can focus on your own life; when you do find that special someone, your relationship will be that much better because it will be special. You’ll be a well-rounded person, and you won’t have a history of hopping from relationship to relationship with no substance.
单身也是重要的，这样你就可以专注于自己的生活。当你真的找到那个特别的人时，你们的关系会更好，因为它会很特别。你会非常圆满，而且你不会留下一段毫无意义不断更换恋爱对象的历史。
4. You’ll fall in love with the wrong person
你会爱上错的人
This is the hardest lesson to learn, because people rarely seem wrong for you at the start of a relationship. When you feel the sparks and the butterflies, you can’t imagine that someone could be bad for you. But they can be, and they will be, and you need to learn how to identify this in others
这是最难学会的一课，因为在恋爱的开始，人们看起来都没什么问题。当你感觉到火花时，你无法想象这个人可能并不适合你。但他们真的可能是错的人，而你需要学会如何辨别。
They can be kind and still be wrong — for you. You should be with someone who brings out the best in you, who is sweet and encouraging and compatible with you, not who you think you should be with to make anyone else happy.
他们可以是好人，但对于你来说，依然是错的人。你应该和一个能让你自己最好一面显露出来的人在一起，他/她应该非常贴心，善于鼓励，和你非常相配。不要为了取悦别人而勉强和谁在一起。
5. It’s ok to fall in love
陷入爱情里是正常的
So you’ve met the wrong person, and maybe you kind of even know they’re wrong for you, but you can’t help it — you’re falling in love. That’s ok! It’s good to let yourself feel things for others. If you’re too hesitant to fall in love, then you might never let loose enough to find your special someone. Love is a beautiful feeling, and it’s never wrong to feel it for someone as long as you believe it’s true.
你遇到了一个错的人，也许你甚至知道他/她不适合你，但你就是陷入爱中无法自拔。这也是正常的。让你自己去感知他人是好的，如果你过分犹豫不敢恋爱，你也许永远不会释放自己，找到那个对的人。爱情是一种美好的感觉，只要你相信这是真的，和某人陷入爱中就永远不会错。
6. Live and love in the moment
活在当下，爱在此刻
Never chastise yourself for falling in love. When you feel something in the moment, you need to let yourself feel that emotion completely. Fall in love, daydream about your future, and, as hard as it may be to do, let yourself get hurt. You’ll learn from all of these moments and all of these emotions.
永远不要因为恋爱而惩罚自己。此刻当你有所感觉，你需要让自己完全投入去感受这种情感。陷入爱河，幻想未来，也许还会让自己受伤。你会从所有这些时刻和情感中学会很多。
It seems like you’d look back and kick yourself for having a crush on someone who was so obviously wrong for you, but you’ll see the past through rose-colored glasses and be glad that you experienced as much as you did.
也许当你回头看，会责备自己怎么会爱上一个明显是错的人，但这段过去依然带着浪漫的玫瑰色彩，你会很欣慰自己曾经尽力去体验。
7. You don’t need to have a timeline
你没有必要制定时间表
When you’re young, you get so used to people asking what you’re majoring in or what you want to be when you grow up that you start planning out your whole life. It seems more stable to think “I should be married by the time I’m 25 so I can have kids before I’m 30,” than to fly by the seat of your pants.
年轻的时候，你很习惯别人询问你的专业，或者你长大后想做什么。然后你开始规划你的人生。“我应该25岁时结婚这样我在30岁之前就可以生孩子了”之类的想法似乎比随遇而安更稳定。
But the truth is, those timelines rarely work out. If they do, it might just because you feel pressured to stick to them. What if you’re dating the wrong person when you’re 25, but still feel like you have to get married to meet your goal? Scrap any timeline you have in mind. Life is going to throw you curveballs whether you have plans or not, so see who you meet, who you fall in love with, and go with the flow.
而事实是，这些时间表基本没用。如果有用，也许只是因为你感觉到了压力而刻意遵循。如果你在25岁时爱上了一个错的人，却依然觉得为了实现目标你必须结 婚，会怎样？丢掉你脑中的所有时间表。不论你有没有计划，生活都会照常进行。所以等着瞧，看你会遇见谁，爱上谁，顺其自然。
8. Don’t put others before yourself
不要总优先满足他人的需要
When you’re older and in a committed relationship or marriage, there will be times when you need to put your own wants on the back burner and let your spouse reach some of their personal goals. It’s ok to put others before yourself if you’re being supportive and not letting your own needs and wants fall to the wayside, but it shouldn’t become a habit.
当你成长了、结婚了，有时候你需要把自己的需求放在一边，让你的另一半实现他/她的目标。如果你有足够的支持，也不会让自己的需求丢在一旁，优先考虑他人是可以的，但这不应该成为一种习惯。
If you’re in a relationship where your partner constantly needs to be the center of attention and won’t let you have interests of your own or time to yourself, you need to get out of that. Realize that it’s not only acceptable to put yourself first, but it’s necessary when you’re young and still have so much growing and learning to do.
如果在你的恋爱关系中，你的另一半总是想成为关注的焦点，而不能让你拥有自己的兴趣或者时间，你就应该结束这段关系。要明白，优先为自己考虑不仅可以接受，而且在年轻的时候是必须的，因为你还有很多成长空间，还可以学会很多。
9. Love yourself
爱你自己
You’ll fall in love with good people and you’ll fall in love with bad people, but above all, you need to love yourself. If you love who you are, then you’ll be more open to loving others. Love is always a great thing to share, but loving yourself also means you won’t have to find that love in others. You can love someone without needing something from them to feel validated. Loving yourself is the most powerful love you can experience.
你会爱上好人，也会爱上坏人，但最重要的是你要爱自己。如果你爱自己，你就会更加包容地去爱别人。爱永远是值得分享的好东西，但爱自己也意味着你不需要从别人那里获取爱。你可以爱上某个人而不需要从他/她那里得到什么来确保爱的感受。爱自己是你所能经历的最强大的爱。
（编辑:卢晓雪）
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