同文翻译论坛翻译之家 » 以译会友 » 红楼追译 » 《红楼梦》翻译（二百零九）

1/1页1 跳转到页查看:1162

发新话题

回复该主题

键盘左右键可以进行前后翻页操作

《红楼梦》翻译（二百零九）

组别老师
性别
积分2987
帖子557
注册时间 2010-06-13

twin05 2010-09-08 14:28 | 只看楼主 树型| 收藏| 小中大 1 ^#

《红楼梦》翻译（二百零九）

原著
“等我从公评来．通篇看来，各有各人的警句．今日公评：《咏菊》第一，《问菊》第二，《菊梦》第三，题目新，诗也新，立意更新，恼不得要推潇湘妃子为魁了，然后《簪菊> >《对菊》《供菊》《画菊》《忆菊》次之。”宝玉听说，喜的拍手叫"极是，极公道。”黛玉道：“我那首也不好，到底伤于纤巧些。”李纨道：“巧的却好，不露堆砌生硬。”黛玉道：“据我看来，头一句好的是`圃冷斜阳忆旧游'，这句背面傅粉．`抛书人对一枝秋' 已经妙绝，将供菊说完，没处再说，故翻回来想到未拆未供之先，意思深透。”李纨笑道：“固如此说，你的`口齿噙香'句也敌的过了。”探春又道：“到底要算蘅芜君沉着， `秋无迹'，`梦有知'，把个忆字竟烘染出来了。”宝钗笑道：“你的`短鬓冷沾'，`葛巾香染'，也就把簪菊形容的一个缝儿也没了。”湘云道：“`偕谁隐'，`为底迟'，真个把个菊花问的无言可对． "李纨笑道：“你的`科头坐'，`抱膝吟'，竟一时也不能别开，菊花有知，
也必腻烦了。”说的大家都笑了．宝玉笑道：“我又落第．难道`谁家种'，`何处秋'，`蜡屐远来'，`冷吟不尽'，都不是访，`昨夜雨'，`今朝霜'，都不是种不成？但恨敌不上` 口齿噙香对月吟'，`清冷香中抱膝吟'，`短鬓'，`葛巾'，`金淡泊'，`翠离披'，`秋无迹'，`梦有知'这几句罢了。”又道：“明儿闲了，我一个人作出十二首来。”李纨道：“你的也好，只是不及这几句新巧就是了。”
霍克斯译文
Each poem was praised in turn, and the reading of the whole twelve concluded amidst cries of mutual admiration.
‘Now just a moment!’ said Li Wan, interrupting their encomiums. ‘Let me first try to give you an impartial judge ment. I think there were good lines in all of the poems, but comparing one with another, it seems to be that one is bound to place “Celebrating the Chrysanthemums” first, with “Questioning the Chrysanthemums” second and “The Dream of the Chrysanthemums” third. The titles themselves were original, and - particularly in their treatment of the subject these are three highly original poems. So I think that today the first place must undoubtedly go to River Queen. After those first three I would place “Wearing the Chrysan themums”, “Admiring the Chrysanthemums”, “Arranging the Chrysanthemums”, “Painting the Chrysanthemums” and “Remembering the Chrysanthemums” in that order.’
Bao-yu clapped his hands delightedly.
‘Absolutely right! A very fair judgement!’
‘I’m afraid mine aren’t really all that good,’ said Dai-yu. ‘They are a bit too contrived.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with a bit of contrivance,’ said Li Wan. ‘One doesn’t want the structure of a poem to stand out too ruggedly.’
‘I very much like that couplet of Cloud Maiden’s,’ said Dai-yu:

‘On frosty nights I’ll dream you back again,

Brave in your garden bed at close of day.

It’s a technique that painters call “white-backing”. That mar vellous couplet that comes before it:

To hold the garden’s fragrance in a vase,

And see all autumn in a single spray

already sums up all there is to be said on the subject of flower arrangement. You feel that she’s left herself nothing else to say. So what does she do? She goes back to the time before the flowers were arranged — before they were picked, even. That going back in her “frosty nights’ couplet is a very subtle way of throwing the main theme into relief, just as the artist’s white-backing sharpens the highlights on the other side of the painting.’
Li Wan smiled.
‘That may be so; but your own “acrid-sweet” couplet is more than a match for it.’
‘I think Lady Allspice dealt with her subject most effect ively,’ said Tan-chun. ‘That couplet of hers:

But autumn’s guest, who last year graced this plot,

Only as yet in dreams of night appears

seems to bring out the idea of remembering so vividly.’
‘Well, your “head-cloth reeking of autumn’s acrid perfume” and “chill dew of autumn pearling the hair” give a pretty vivid image of wearing chrysanthemums,’ said Bao-chai with a laugh.
‘And River Queen’s “who shares your hiding place?” “why do you bloom so late?”,’ said Xiang-yun, smiling mis chievously, ‘make so thorough a job of questioning them, that one feels the poor things must have been quite tongue-tied!’
‘For that matter,’ said Li Wan, entering into the spirit of the thing, ‘your persistent haunting of the chrysanthemums — “sitting bare-headed by their wintry bed” and “hugging your knees and singing to them”—makes one suspect that if the chrysanthemums really had consciousness, they might, in the end, have grown just a tiny bit tired of your company!’
The others all laughed.
‘I seem to be bottom again,’ said Bao-yu ruefully. ‘Though I must say I should have thought that

… to go on an excursion—

Some garden where. . . was planted

The glory of autumn being our destination

and so forth was a perfectly satisfactory exposition of “seeking the chrysanthemums”; and that

A shower last night the wilting leaves revived,

Opening the morning-buds all silver-hoar

dealt with the theme of transplanting chrysanthemums rather successfully. Heigh-ho! I suppose it’s just that I couldn’t produce anything quite as good as River Queen’s “acrid-sweet” line, or Cloud Maiden’s “bare-headed by your wintry bed”, or Plaintain lover’s “reeking head-cloth” or “few poor, tattered leaves”, or Lady Allspice’s “autumn guest in dreams of night appears”.
‘Well, never mind,’ he went on, after a moment’s reflection. ‘Perhaps tomorrow or the day after, if I’ve got the time, I’ll try to do all twelve of them again on my own.’
‘Your poems were perfectly all right,’ said Li Wan consol ingly. ‘It’s simply as you yourself have just said that they didn’t have anything quite as good as the lines you have men tioned.’
杨宪益译文
As they read each poem they praised it, heaping compliments on each other.
"Let me try to pass fair judgement now," said Li Wan with a smile. "On the whole each poem has striking lines but, speaking impartially, I rank Writing About the Chrysanthemum first, Questioning the Chry santhemum second, and A Dream of Chrysanthemums third; for all three show originality in the theme, ideas and style. The Queen of Bamboos will have to be given first place. Next in order of merit come Wearing the Chrysanthemum, Facing the Chrysanthemum, Displaying the Chrysanthemum, Painting the Chrysanthemum and Thinking of the Chrysanthemum."
Baoyu clapped his hands in delight at this, exclaiming, "Absolutely right. Very fair."
"Mine didn't amount to much," Daiyu observed. "They're rather contrived."
"But aptly so," rejoined Li Wan. "Not stiff and overloaded."
"To my mind," continued Daiyu, "the best line of all is 'Sunset in chill garden recalls a former visit' which presents such a strong contrast. And 'Tossing my book aside I face a spray of autumn' is perfect, leav ing nothing more to be said about displaying chrysanthemums, so that she had to revert to the time before the flower was plucked and put in the vase. Very penetrating, very subtle."
"Quite so. Still, your line about 'sweet melodies' is even better," countered Li Wan.
Tanchun put in, "And what about the Lady of the Alpinia? 'No sign is
there of autumn' and 'yet in dream I see' bring out the idea of nostalgia so vividly."
Baochai smiled and replied, "Your 'short hair wet with cold dew' and 'coarse cap stained with fragrance' do full justice to the subject too."
Xiangyun remarked gaily, "Questions like 'With what hermit are you taking refuge?' and 'What makes you bloom so late?' are bound to stump the flower."
Li Wan retorted, "I daresay your sitting bareheaded and hugging your knees while you chant, refusing to leave, would get on the flower's nerves too -- if it had any. "
At that there was general laughter.
"I'm last again," said Baoyu cheerfully. "But surely my 'Who has planted this flower?' 'Whence springs this autumn glory?', 'waxed sandals come from far away,' and 'chants endless poems' describe visiting the chrysanthemum all right? And don't 'rain last night' and 'this morning's frost' describe the planting? It's just that they're not up to such images as 'facing the moon croon their sweet melodies,' 'In the cold clean scent I hug my knees and chant,' 'short hair,' 'coarse cap, 'pale gold,' 'the marred green leaves are withering,' 'no sign is there of autumn' and 'seen in dreams."' He added, "Tomorrow when I've time, I mean to write on all twelve themes."
"Your verses aren't bad," Li Wan told him. "They're not as distinc tive as the others though."

<<上一主题|下一主题>>

1/1页1 跳转到页

发表新主题

回复该主题